Let's start with the obvious question that has been hard for me to answer since I returned to Canada. How was your trip? I realize now that the question was impossible to answer because I didn't know the extent to which that experience had changed me. As I reflect on my findings of the last couple of weeks, it is hard to believe the shift in perspective that I've embraced.
At once I felt somewhat disappointed with the outcome of my four month excursion. I'm not sure what exactly I expected to find there, or what I was even looking for. I suppose it was the same thing I had been seeking for as long as I can remember. Love. And although I have and give a lot of it every day, it is the connection that I seek. When I didn't find what I was looking for - though try as I did - I returned exhausted emotionally, far removed, heartbroken, and very disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed myself on the elongated school vacation that was Iceland. Running by the sea, taken by the wind, bike rides, blue skies, raining and cold. Darkness was like a blanket of calm in the cold wind. Music filled the soul and the brilliant buildings brought magic to the close culture of one of the smallest countries in the world.
School was amazing. Some of the most enlightening classes of my student career were while I was away. We studied the European Union, the partnerships that make up the biggest market economy of the world. We studied business, service management, sustainable energy systems, and got to know the musical language and culture that goes unseen and forgotten by so many.
This is the site of ultimate possibility, growth, and in some cases failure. One of the smallest economies in the world has the power to grow, change, adapt, and collapse at an incredible rate. It's volatile, invigorating, and a little scary... Always teetering on the edge, 100% exposed and unforgiving, just as the nature in the countryside.
There is no way to describe the power of the natural world, the way it dictates the people's lives, attitudes, and ambitions. In times of uncertainty, many of them are turning back to the organic hand of mother nature to guide them on the right track. By connecting ourselves to the natural world, we can return to what makes us who we are, what grounds us, and what reminds us that we must care for and love our home as we do ourselves, for we are one and the same.
But that isn't the big change that I've endured. What is the what? There's a lot. I think the major revelation was quite simple - as the best things in life often are - an acceptance of myself as I am, embracing it, and not fighting to change that which does not matter. This principal can be applied to all areas of your life: work, play, relationships. Really it is the quest for happiness, or contentness as it were, and a peacefulness inside that allows you to see the world in a truly uncomplicated way.
This is why children appear so smart. They have not learned to doubt themselves, or fight against their feelings. They just are, and for this reason are free. I digress. As I come to the end of my degree and search for a job, a career, something, I have realized a couple of things. First and foremost, I realized that I don't really need a career yet. I also realized, as I have a tendency to forget, that I am still quite young and most of my role models have been on this earth at least 10 years longer than I have.
I was asked the question where I want to be in 20 years. A difficult question at any time of day, but during a job interview it was especially vexing. I'm only 23, and in 20 years I will be nearly double my age. 20 years is four times the time that I have been an adult. Crazy. I see no need to look that far into the future, especially when I can barely keep up with what's happening right now!
The second thing I realized was that although I have a degree, and I value that, I have much to learn still, especially if I plan on pursuing a career in education. We are always learning, continually exploring the world and ourselves, and as soon as you think you know something, more questions are created. It has been a very humbling and somewhat stressful experience all around. Four months in Iceland, finishing a university degree, and entering back into the working world. Even positive change is subject to some major adjustments in thought and lifestyle. Change is always a bit threatening because of our innate fear of the unknown.
***
It is easy to get lost, especially in this society, but as one of my dear friends said to me, if you can learn to find your balance in any place, at any time, you can remain true to yourself always. Truth, honesty, and acceptance are after all the ultimate tools to happiness.
So, I will leave you with a total cliche: Always be true to oneself, find truth in others, and smile at the beauty in the world.
Much love to everyone who reads this ;)
~Yuri
No comments:
Post a Comment